Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Let me whine n complain please...

This is an entry about my whines and frustration... so it might get boring..

ARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

30 more days before i go back.... exam is 19 days to go... im fucked!! soooooooo no mood to study... somemore nowadays so freaking cold... always 14 degrees and below... makes me wanna sleep all the freaking time!! Sleep 4 hours not enuff, sleep 8 hours also not enuff.. sleep 16 hours also not enuff... wtf k!! Somemore now, no one to snuggle up in the bed with when it cold.. Im always feel so freaking cold here... cause my bed is too big for me alone... and no one's body heat to snuggle with... sigghh... i miss winter last year...

Sometimes i feel like breaking down n just give up la... i cannot crawl any longer... i tried to be tough, tried to crawl ever since March till now.... really feel like i cannot crawl anymore... Now it feels more like me dragging my body on the floor to go on for the rest of the month.. i try not to think anymore...but i cant help it!! I still think.. and think... miss n miss.... crap!

DAmn la k... these 4 months feels like eternity...feels like 4 years... ive gone through 3 months... and i got another month to go... SHITTT...

I tried not listening songs that remind me of someone i miss so much... but i cant..i need to listen to them so that i can go on with my damn life...

Example, each time i listen to Akon's Dont matter... it reminds me in the car with him while i record a video of him saying goodbye to me..asking me to take care for these 4 months in Adelaide... arrghh...i think also wanna cry k....

Whenever i listen to Shayne Ward's No promises, it never fails to make me think of him... same goes to Waiting For you by Hu Yen Bing... so many songs la k...

Can someone suggest me things to do that wont make me feel sleepy ha?? Im so freaking sleepy every single day... thus its making me more stupid and lazier...

Sighh..whine so much also no use...cause it wouldnt make me graduate!! I just wan to get over it and grad quickly! i dont wanna suffer anymore!!

Like i always say the best things in life now is to be able to love again... to be able to feel the love... feel the cuddles n snuggles from someone u love...

I feel so envious...envy of all those couples out there..who get to cuddle at night n sleep... couples who get to do things together everyday...see eachother everyday, doing things together and build more memories together... sigh... how i wish i get to have that... i feel so empty... feel so empty at night nowadays... i have nightmares and weird dreams when i sleep at night... probably its because i feel so empty and lonely...thats y i have those weird dreams... the only thing that i have accompany me at night nowadays is my bolster... the bolster that gives me the only comfort n memories...

Eeeeee...ish ish...i so want someone to hug... want someone to do the couply things together... i am so lonely... i so wan someone to be able to make me study... force me to study... teach me macroeconomics... lol...

Sighh... another 30 days to go before i go back... i just have to "keep holding on...." like the song from Avril Lavigne...

1 comment:

Jordan said...

Keep holding on there k. :)
Virtual hugzzz from me although it won't make u warmer :)