Tuesday, September 11, 2007

One Mistake....

One mistake is all it takes to ruin something ever so beautiful... like your life and your love life...

All i did was one mistake and i deserved to be punished forever and to be not trusted forever....

Cool... Cool... fine with me... i can understand why...

Therefore, i've been trying to make amends and assure someone that i am not doing the same mistakes anymore... trust me, when i said i have been trying hard, i really am serious about it... i really am serious about the relationship... but the person had to think that i feel so suffocated and suffering for not doing the mistakes i did previously... that, that person feels that i dont feel happy for trying to make amends... wtf is that??? All i wanted to do was to assure that person so that the person will trust me more! My gawd, i cannot believe that he's thinking the other way round!

It was only ONE STUPID MISTAKE I DID!! Just ONE STUPID MISTAKE TOWARDS THAT PERSON... Just once when i was so not that in love... Just that one period!!!

Fark la... why? why do i have to fall in love when i was not ready? It caused a stupid mistake! Just one stupid thing can cause such a big havoc!

I suddenly feel like i dont wanna talk anymore.... talking always gives me big trouble... i just wanna sew my blardy mouth and dont talk for the rest of my life! Its good wat, i dont have to worry stinky breath or brushing my teeth anymore!! FUCK!!

Im an idiot... forever an idiot... i dont deserve nice things, im serious... i dont deserve a beautiful relationship since im so blardy retarded n cannot be trusted... i can understand y i cannot be trusted... i dont deserve anyone at all... cause usually people around me have to suffer my nonsense... i give people more troubles than happiness...

I seriously dont know how to fix my life around... i've been trying so hard to fix my life around adi... trying so hard to make it better... but then it does not seem to be any better... sighh.... i hate my life...

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