Sunday, June 29, 2008

im confused...

As much as i still love you... i know that it is better this way...

i dont know why this phrase keeps on repeating in my brain... sighhh...

Either its because im feeling too lonely that i kept on thinking so much or i havent really let go of my feelings...

Well... i thought i did... i really thought that after these 2 months in KL, with all my tight schedule of working, attending events n parties will make me forget n able to let go the feeling i had inside me... and i really thought i did it finally... But when i get lonely... when i am lonely... when im driving alone... when i watch movies about love... when i see lovey dovey couples around, my heart cant help it but feeling envy n sad... at times, i got so sad thinking of you and how lonely i am that i ended up crying... sighh... useless me... i guess thats the sign of being too lonely?

I no longer feel hurt whenever u disappoint me... i no longer feel anything whenever u tell me stories... i no longer feel hurt whenever i found out that u lied to me... i really no longer feel anything at all in what ever that you do that will hurt me... But its just that, i'll think of you without fail whenever i do something or see something or go somewhere that reminds me of you... I guess im just too lonely...

I miss having someone to love me... miss having someone to actually cared for me... i miss someone who will always be there for me whenever i needed them... But now, im alone... im forced to be independent... Thats y its better this way...

Sighh... every single time i think of you or everytime i misses u so dearly... i will tell myself... No point thinking so much... No point of getting back at all or wanting you at all... Its really best that its this way... U and i know why and there's more reason why we shouldnt be together that u dont know of...

Looking on the bright side, i enjoy being single too... i can have my options open... try to find someone new... Being single enables me to have an open dating relationship... But sigh... i have met many new people here but i cannot seem to have the spark with any of them regardless how nice they r to me, good looking or rich... Sighh... i dont know whats wrong... Either i have not really forgotten about u or im too afraid to be hurt by love again... i guess im still feeling hurt...

i think im fucked.....

*rendezvous*

3 comments:

Wingz said...

everyone needs someone ... u will eventually found your ader half der! dunch werry! Time will tell, time will heal ... just hang in there!

princess mie said...

:) .. at a phase of my life before i got into this bz with events and parties schedule ...

i was that ... but i guess time will erase everyting .. i mite be 1 month 1 year or 3 years ...

and that also measures how deep u fall for that someone ..
a love or relationship is a risk ... a risk that everyone wans to go tru in their lives .. :)

cheer up princess .. i guess u wud find a way to forget the pain someday :)

Simon Seow said...

I'm still single. Sigh, have no luck with women.