Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I am so angry!!!

Im so angry at many things lately!!!

and yes, little things will tick me off...!!!

Especially when im not appreciated when im putting on effort!

Talking about my damn phone first... =_="

my stupid phone, decided to die on me almost 2 weeks ago... it keeps on shutting down on me for no reason n all of a sudden.. then when i restarted the damn phone, the battery drains out.... =__="

Then on sunday, i decided to bring it back to the place that i bought the damn phone from which is at Low Yat Plaza, the person who sold me the phone has resigned... Then i was entertained by a lady who couldnt explain well in english...

She told me to either leave my phone there with her as the service centre is at Times Square or i bring to Times Square myself... =___=" and i was thinking, blardy hell... i leave my phone to u then what the hell do i use to make calls? =____="

So, i decided to bring my phone to Times Square myself on monday (which was yesterday)... and it was freaking hard to find the shop... cause the only instruction i got from the girl at Low Yat on how to find the place is "U go to where the bread shop is... take the lift and its at 9th floor... after you come out from the lift, u turn right then right, u will see the shop already"... =______=" wat a direction... so i end up walking the whole 9th Floor at every corner to find the shop.... ish ish ish... after i found the place, they checked my phone and found out that its the battery problem... and they said the battery on warranty for 1 month!!! Only one fucking month! How absurd is that.... =________=" So, they ask me to buy a new battery.... KANASAI!

Second thing that im very angry about... and i always turned so disappointed and angry and end up crying for hours whenever this happens... Im like that... when im angry about certain things or certain someone, if i cannot scold back or retaliate, i will end up crying... So its either i go berzerkly crazy angry or just end up crying...

This is about particular someone, which i have made loads of effort to be nice with almost all my life (its not as if i have a choice).... everytime that person is down or sad, im always there to help that person and lend an ear to that person...

She wanted me to treat her as a best friend, i have tried... But we could only be so called best friends when she is in a good mood... when she is in a bad mood, i seriously feel like killing her... KILLINGGGG her.... its that bad ok!

Oh well, i was being nice and generous and felt that she deserve the loving from me last week (cause i know she has done alot for me and protected me alot)... So i ordered and purchased a bouquet of 24 stalks of red roses for her last week and surprise her.... which i had never done that to anyone else ok! and also i thought that person never recieve any flowers from anyone else before, so i thought buying flowers for her is the perfect gift for the occasion... Oh well, she was happy for 2 days only... but yesterday, bcos somebody else piss her off, she has to come piss me off... This happens every single time!!! Whenever that somebody piss her off, she will come lashing out on me! WTF man!!!

As soon as she called me yesterday night, she already come lashing out.. scolding me right away after i pick up phone... for things which she was only a quarter right and rest was just all mere anger.... but she just had to find a victim to scold and she come pick me... like seriously man, luckily she is someone important to me... or else, if she were to be like any friend of mine and come scolding me like that.... what do u think will happen to her huh??? All my close friends know my freaking temper man!!! That moment, i really felt like grabbing her in the head... shake her hard and slap her to wake up man!!! Like fucking hell!!! Im no longer a kid ok!!!

If u r so unhappy about certain things, then get rid of that certain thing...!!! it aint that hard ok!! There is no such thing as u cant live without certain something or certain someone...!! Fuck man!!! If u feel that u have so unhappy with that certain something, why not let it go? I can see that u have turn crazier each day and each year when u still have that thing... Get rid of it for God's sake!!! If u cannot get rid of it, then just suck it up and accept the fact la!!!! And live with it for the rest of your life man!!! Always say u cannot tahan...cannot tahan this n that... then do something about it!!! Bitching about it everyday and not do anything, doesnt solve shit ok!!! Fuck man!! Am so tulanated... =_____________="

And if u happen to read this woman.... I seriously do not like to be threaten... U have to remember, i am an adult... threatening me dont work... I will do worse for u to see... You should know i have sacrificed so much for you... please do not come telling me that... "oh, dont do things because of me ok! I dont need u to... I ask u to do this is because of your own good.." Oh please... if its not bcos of you, i wouldnt be this broke today alright... It just hurts me alot everytime u say that... all i wanted was an appreciation from you... But i just dont feel appreciated, and it makes me feel not worth it to do things that i dont like just bcos of you... If i feel appreciated, at least i'll feel happy doing it and feel its damn worth it to do so for u... Now, it just feels so not worth it man... *suddenly, becoming stewardess is still a better idea!!!!*

And we r almost the same kind... u should know how i will react if im threaten... is the same way as how will u react if u r threaten... im sure u freaking dont like it right????

I really find it so sad when a person doesnt know to accept the fact...deal with their own problems maturely...

Everybody has their own problems and stresses... everybody's capability of handling stresses are at different level... I find it so unfair when people always say.. "oh, ur stress and problems cannot compare to mine la..." "I have been forced to steal to survive, n eat shit, pick up shit or watever fucking shit during my hard times last time"... If u can do that, i salute you... this just means u can handle hard times n stresses way better than me... I am people from this generation n not your generation... cannot be compared this way ok... Different people can cope with different level of stresses ok... so stresses cannot be compared!!

ARGGHHHH.... im so angry...

But to be honest, things happen to you today is because u cannot deal with it properly... ur solution is always about yelling n scolding and always think u r right!... nvr want to accept advices from people... oh, u do accept advices from ur friends who always gives u nonsense advises... which i have heard of it, and i dont think it works... U want things to workout, u should listen to people who is closest to you first... not outsiders! Outsiders dont understand u as well as people who has known u all ur life! But i nvr understand, y dont u understand me well? This is probably because u dont bother to listen and be attentive to my needs and care... all you know is come lashing out on me when u r in bad mood...

i can darely say that i understand u way better than u understand me... cause i have tried analysing ur problems and i know whats your problem... But again, if i were to really tell you wats your problem and share it with you... there are only 2 outcome from you... You will either come yelling me, start threatening again and disown me, or u will just kill yourself cause u nvr realise how much mistakes u have done... Thats y i nvr bother to really open all out to tell you what is wrong.... i know u enough to know ur reaction if i were to be totally completely truthful... sighh... If only u can put an open mind and accept it openly of what i think went wrong with u.... and change for the better... i believe ur life will be much better...

U might think, as if im much better like that... i know im not much better... no human is perfect... but it is about whether u accept new ideas, suggestions and be able to listen to what people have to say, comment and critic about u... and if possible, change a little?

i learn new things everyday... and im the type that accept critic from people... (even though soemtimes i dont look like i care or i dont listen but i still end up analysing myself later on when im all alone n emoish) i will listen but of course i dont neccesary follow... by listening, at least you'll know what people really thinks of you... and u can choose to listen or ignore them... When people says im lazy... and yeah, hell alot of people says im lazy... and this definately means something right?... which means im really lazy la... and this i know... and at least i know, i choose to either continue be lazy and ruin my future or buck up somehow or whenever before its too late.... you dont need to always have to react on bad comments about u by blowing up or yell because u have the authority to!!! If its this case, u will nvr change and your problems will nvr go away... get my point, woman?!

URRGGGHHH.... im so sick la... sick of this...

anyways, i know wan... if this woman reads this, confirm i will kena lashing n yelling again.... BAH! like i care anymore... talking to her dont work cause her reasoning is that im being disrespectful... well, u wan me to treat u like best friends right? this is how i talk to my best friends when im angry... i give them a piece of my mind... and this is how i show i really care about them... by scolding them when they r really in the wrong!

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