Monday, June 08, 2009

Is it Fate?

Sometimes i wonder...

Is it fate that really brought us together?

Its funny to see the cycle that we went through in our relationships... Its almost similiar when i come to think of it...

But im always a step ahead of him... =)

He had 2 serious relationships and im his third...

I had 3 serious relationships and he's the forth...

We both went through a really hellish long relationship which his lasted 6 years, mine lasted 5 years...

In both of our hellish long relationship, we both went through the same exact course and path... but i broke free from mine a year earlier than him...

He went through all the nonsensical relationships in between serious relationships and i went through the same thing....

We both went through those nonsensical relationships the really hard way which made us who we are today...

This nonsensical relationships mature us both and gives us a very big impact...

We met early 2007 (mel introduced me to him)... both were still attach with our then serious relationships which his was having problems and mine was starting to have problems... but i nvr had a thought that i'll be with him today...

But i was thinking, if he is so perfect to me, why didnt God give him to me way earlier so that i dont have to go through all those nonsense previously...

But then again, i believe God has its own way of doing things... I think if i didnt go through wat i went through and he didnt go through wat he went through, i dont think both of us will be together today...

Its like for example, he knew i was already single last year... but he waited n waited for the right time to appear then only he started to apporach me..

Both of us always joked around... like he keeps on blaming me why the hell do i go to KL to work la... and i always blame him in return that, why didnt he go after me as soon as he knows i am single and when i was still in Penang la... i could have made my decision and stayed back in Penang just for him...

But come to think of it, if he were to go after me that time when i was just single, he wouldnt win me anyways... as a matter of fact, he would have failed miserably that time...

Why i'd say so? Cause after coming over to KL to work, i dated several guys which some almost become my bf but at the end it failed miraculously... *somehow now i feel it failed bcos of God. God had a plan for me... that plan is for me to meet him... ^__^ which i didnt understand this then cause i was busy feeling miserable* After going through those nonsensical relationships, i finally understood how guys really think in a painful way... i gave up hope on love at one point and stayed really single as in not dating anyone... having a really peaceul time of my life where i have no one to call, no one to report to, no one to miss and no worries about relationship at all.... that was my most peaceful moment... and my phone bill was really cheap and my phone seldom rings at all except during working hours...

Then i went back to Penang on end of Dec last year for a week long holiday when i asked him out just for innocent yam cha with my best friend mel... and this leads to karaoke... and dinner... (all these with a group of friends) and i was kinda surprise that time and was thinking to myself... how come this time this guy suddenly so free can come out all the time ha... and we slowly progress from then on...

and as i was saying.. after coming to KL and went through wat i've went through, i can appreciate a love like his.... imagine, if i didnt go through all those hurtful moments, i wouldnt know how to appreciate his type of love...

Accepting him at first was really hard in the first place... this is because of the situation and position he was/is in and i was in... I kinda mind how he looks etc n all (this i shall not eloborate) slowly slowly... i find myself falling in love with him more n more each day... and i dont mind about his outlooks anymore, in fact he is cute to me now... ^__^ He on the other hand, has always treated me like his dreamgirl and he already fell in love with me when we first met.... Loving me full heartedly... never love me less than he already has... (this is wat he said la) treats me like a princess... and always try his best to make our relationship perfect...

I on the other hand, i feel... it really nice to have someone love me more than i love him in the beginning... keeps on screwing up things... never appreciate him and took him for granted... i gave him a hellish roller coaster ride... he couldnt feel my presense in him... as i was really unsure about him... i was confused...

Y am i feeling this way? Cause i already told myself that the next time i have a bf, i hope my next bf would be the one... I am going to make effort to make him the last bf i ever had... *but of course i cannot predict the future la, if it cannot work, then i guess he's not the one* I feel so unsure cause i never expect he would be my bf... or my future husband... and i was giving up hope on love that time... it was hard to suddenly to have the need to accept the fact im getting attach again this soon!

But after the roller coaster ride i have given him, i tell myself to stop being a bitch and start being fair to him... Therefore, till this day... i found myself loving him more n more each day... eventhough i can still love him way much more than this... but after what i've gone through in my past relationships, i find it hard to trust people anymore... i stll need to reserve alittle and pull back some... for in case anything happens... and for him to settle some shit... =__="

Being with him like this now... Im loving the moments with him... i feel so happy n relaxed... i dont have to pretend to me somebody im not... i dont have to pretend to be gentle and tender nor polite... cause he makes me feel comfortable showing him who i really am... and according to him, he also feel really comfortable with me around... he is the real him when im around... he dont have to be fake like he used to when he was with his ex... he can go as crazy and hyper all he wants and no one would scold him for acting hyper... and i would go crazy with him as well...

Compare to my craziness and his... of course his is wayyyyyyyyy crazier... sometimes his wackiness and craziness embarassed me okay!

Well, im glad our paths cross this way... at such a right timing i would say... will we go till the end? I dont know....

But wat im sure of is that... i love to see his bashful face when i say things that embarassed him or found out embarassing things about him... his bashful face is soooooo cute ok! *yes, i know... this is so random of me*

And as for him... he loves to see me getting annoyed... He likes to make me feel agitated and annoyed.. and he also likes to make me feel stupid... then he will really ROFL his ass off... he is damn blardy cheeky that way... in hokkien means... he really like to "titu" me ok...

But when he over do it and make me angry leh... he bring this fire to himself la... im not always that sporting k...

Aiya... have to abruptly stop this... cause going off... yes, i know this is too gay for u all to read... hahahhaaaa....

bubyeeee...

oh, i love you darling..... ahhahahahaaa.....

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