Random Thought of the Day...

Its funny that grown adults like me... or working adults in general are still afraid of getting caught by parents for doing wrong things...

The wrong thing that im referring to is smoking... i have alot of friends as in working adults friends ranging up till 40 years old is still afraid of getting caught smoking by their parents...

Yes, i know it may be out of respect they have for their parents thats why they are afraid of getting caught... but it really funny to hear them talk about it...

The way they talk about it is like... "huh, if my parents ever finds out that im smoking, i confirm die!" or "i will be chopped in million pieces1!" or "i will be disowned man!!"... The way they put it seems like they are still underage... hehehhee.... so cuteee....

Some even resort to smoking alot while working... then when they go back home to their parents or spouses, they pretended like nothing... Like how i used to do wrong things when i was a little girl and hide things around to avoid my parents from killing me... lol!

For example like me... im still afraid of getting caught by my parents if i were to do wrong things... But my main reason is that because i didnt want to disappoint them... It just hurts wayyyyy more to see the disappointed faces of my parents than them whacking or scolding me upside down...

Oh well... this is just a random thought... am so sleepy now... gonna sleep.... i actually wanted to continue something about the hardship of being a parent... but.. my eyes are literally -____- already....

so good night... sweet dreams baby!

Blah!

Dont know how to title this post...

cause this post is going to be another random posting n updating about my life...

yes, i know... im a boring person nowadays... i dont go out often anymore... i dont party that much anymore... maybe my bf has domesticated me.... hahahahhaaa... *he wish he could! apparently he say im too wild for him!* somemore wants me?!!!

Aiya, its just that going out too much is not that fun for me anymore... im a boring old person that only stays at home nowadays... when i finish work, i go home n have dinner at home n watch my series n online... thats all i do.... during the weekends, i will either spend my weekends sleeping and laze around the house or go back penang...

and sheesh... didnt get to go Perhentian last weekend... dammit... i was so sick that i cannot even last whole 5 mins without coughing... imagine coughin 20 meters underwater with my regulator on..! yucks! and somemore my bf (oh i have to say boyfriend cause apparently someone said that bf could mean best friend =_=")... my bf was very caught up with work that he couldnt leave his island to another island... so perhentian trip postponed.... i will go there on mid july... this time ha, i die die also must go adi! Bf busy also i will go myself! i seriously need the relaxation!

And oh, i've decided to move back to pg for good...! Its better this way for everyone... so i dont have to like run back n forth pg kl pg kl like a mad woman almost everyweekend...

Another different topic....

I got a new baby!


This is a pic i took when i brought her home the first day with me... on 10 June 2009

A female yorkshire terrier... She was born on 14th February 2009! A Valentine's baby!


Trying to camwhore with her when i was back in Penang...

I call her Honey.... I wanted to name her Grisselle... But apparently people find it hard to pronounce.. So i decided to change her to something simpler yet so sweet... HONEY!


Another one of her licking my face... so cuteeeee... she loves licking people's face... and she especially loves licking her daddy's face... yes, im the mummy... my bf is the daddy.... She licks her daddy's face until the whole face full of her saliva... =__=" i was like... damn, there's no way in hell in gonna kiss u after this darling... ahhahahaha....


And she loves human contact... she really loves sleeping on my arms, my lap... and her daddy's big tummy... see sooo cuteee....

I was driving back from kl to penang... fetching her back to see her daddy... and throughout the journey, she wouldnt want to sleep nor even sit down in her cage... she would just try to stand and look at me while i was driving... and u know, driving the north south highway, its dangerous n i need to put 100% attention to driving... and most of my friends would know how fast i drive back from kl to pg and vice versa... it takes me 3 hours from kl house to pg house ok.... so yeah.. pretty fast.... and with my constant breaking n accelerating due to stupid retarded drivers on highway, Honey would still stubbornly trying to balance herself and try to stand....

So when i reach ipoh toll, i decided to put her on my lap while i was driving... then she will fall asleep less than 5mins after on my lap... damn.... and yeah, she was sleeping all the way from ipoh to penang... but waking up when i have different movement like taking my smart tag to scan at toll...

She will usually just fall asleep right away if i carry her on my arms or on my lap... which she makes me feel.... "awwwww.... like a baby...."


Another picture of me trying to act cute while camwhoring... lol! *dont puke k* i know i dont have the cute face!

But u see her so small n cutesy cutesy... her temper is like WOAH!... Like mine.... crazy shit... if no given attention, she will bark until u give her attention... or she will release her anger on her little small toy ball...


This is a video of her... her first day with me... and she was trying to get out from her crate but she was too chicken shit to do so... then she got so frustrated n vent her anger on her toys! and with this video, u can somehow guess how bad is her temper adi... ahahhahaa...

But to this date, she is like a pro coming out from her crate already.... got more guts now... hahahhaaa....

And these 2 videos below are videos of my bf trying to piss her off with soft toys! Its freaking funny i tell u.... oh if u understand hokkien is better cause in the video, me n my bf was conversing in hokkien mix english...





Damn... i miss her... she is staying with her daddy in Penang... and i will go back n see her once in a while... but now since i've decided to go back penang for good... i get to see her everyday!

Thats all about my life rantings... will update more later on....

Oh.. my next most anticipated party... Biggest Hennessy Artistry event of the year... on 25th July 2009!

Be back soon... muacckkkss!

and i missy you my darling.... =)

Things happen for a reason... Is it a sign?

Sometimes i wonder.... is it a sign?

Things happening to me lately that is making me down... so down that i keep thinking about it everyday until i get severe headaches.... sometimes even almost to tears... but i manage to control cause i tell myself its nor worth it to break into tears for reasons like these...

Everything that is happening, comes at the right timing...

It is not really convenient for me to mention it now until it ends...

But i have made a decision, a decision which is rather big which i did not consult my parents at all... but i kinda hinted to them before...

anyways, since i have decided... its too bad for my parents ler... im sorry... i just couldnt stand it anymore... so my dear parents, i cannot stand it anymore... thats y this decision is made....

In short... and again (i think i have said this before somewhere in my blog)... it really hurts when i treat someone as a friend genuinely... someone whom i thought could be good friends but they all end up hurting me... back stabbing me and talk things behind my back.... and NO... IM NOT SEEKING PITY from people... this is what i honestly think n feel... People who knows me well enough will know that i hate people to feel pity for me! *only people that do the backstabbing and the talking will feel my statement above*

Im going to disappear from your life soon... if it makes u all happy, i think its worth it and is best that i disappear from u all... But also, thanks for all the teaching and patience u guys have on me... yeah, u guys win... i bet u all will be very happy the day u guys find out that im gonna disappear...

Oh n especially to someone... (i think this someone do read my blog quite often and i think that person will know im referring to that person)... it was really nice to have someone like u as a friend... all the jokes we shared... and its really nice to have someone that speak the same channel with me everyday... but i dont know why that someone just suddenly one day out of the blue decided to refuse to talk to me anymore... and keeps on insulting me n bad mouthing me lately... Oh well, its a pity... we could have been really good friends cause i really feel comfortable talking to u and sharing stories with u.... we had really good times talking nonsense n even shooting each other jokingly... occasional dinner together n catching up... i thought i felt the genuinity of your friendship... *if there's such word as genuinity* Oh well, i guess i was wrong...

From today onwards, i decided to be patient... like what my bf says... sometimes be patient n keep quiet, things will just loosen up... So, im gonna be patient from today onwards until i disappear...

counting down the days....

P.S: On a happier note, im going to Perhentian Island next week! My darling going to take open water course and join me for diving adventures! Yay! finally going to diving afterall! Cant wait! I really really need this break... i really need this getaway to release all my unhappiness....

Is it Fate?

Sometimes i wonder...

Is it fate that really brought us together?

Its funny to see the cycle that we went through in our relationships... Its almost similiar when i come to think of it...

But im always a step ahead of him... =)

He had 2 serious relationships and im his third...

I had 3 serious relationships and he's the forth...

We both went through a really hellish long relationship which his lasted 6 years, mine lasted 5 years...

In both of our hellish long relationship, we both went through the same exact course and path... but i broke free from mine a year earlier than him...

He went through all the nonsensical relationships in between serious relationships and i went through the same thing....

We both went through those nonsensical relationships the really hard way which made us who we are today...

This nonsensical relationships mature us both and gives us a very big impact...

We met early 2007 (mel introduced me to him)... both were still attach with our then serious relationships which his was having problems and mine was starting to have problems... but i nvr had a thought that i'll be with him today...

But i was thinking, if he is so perfect to me, why didnt God give him to me way earlier so that i dont have to go through all those nonsense previously...

But then again, i believe God has its own way of doing things... I think if i didnt go through wat i went through and he didnt go through wat he went through, i dont think both of us will be together today...

Its like for example, he knew i was already single last year... but he waited n waited for the right time to appear then only he started to apporach me..

Both of us always joked around... like he keeps on blaming me why the hell do i go to KL to work la... and i always blame him in return that, why didnt he go after me as soon as he knows i am single and when i was still in Penang la... i could have made my decision and stayed back in Penang just for him...

But come to think of it, if he were to go after me that time when i was just single, he wouldnt win me anyways... as a matter of fact, he would have failed miserably that time...

Why i'd say so? Cause after coming over to KL to work, i dated several guys which some almost become my bf but at the end it failed miraculously... *somehow now i feel it failed bcos of God. God had a plan for me... that plan is for me to meet him... ^__^ which i didnt understand this then cause i was busy feeling miserable* After going through those nonsensical relationships, i finally understood how guys really think in a painful way... i gave up hope on love at one point and stayed really single as in not dating anyone... having a really peaceul time of my life where i have no one to call, no one to report to, no one to miss and no worries about relationship at all.... that was my most peaceful moment... and my phone bill was really cheap and my phone seldom rings at all except during working hours...

Then i went back to Penang on end of Dec last year for a week long holiday when i asked him out just for innocent yam cha with my best friend mel... and this leads to karaoke... and dinner... (all these with a group of friends) and i was kinda surprise that time and was thinking to myself... how come this time this guy suddenly so free can come out all the time ha... and we slowly progress from then on...

and as i was saying.. after coming to KL and went through wat i've went through, i can appreciate a love like his.... imagine, if i didnt go through all those hurtful moments, i wouldnt know how to appreciate his type of love...

Accepting him at first was really hard in the first place... this is because of the situation and position he was/is in and i was in... I kinda mind how he looks etc n all (this i shall not eloborate) slowly slowly... i find myself falling in love with him more n more each day... and i dont mind about his outlooks anymore, in fact he is cute to me now... ^__^ He on the other hand, has always treated me like his dreamgirl and he already fell in love with me when we first met.... Loving me full heartedly... never love me less than he already has... (this is wat he said la) treats me like a princess... and always try his best to make our relationship perfect...

I on the other hand, i feel... it really nice to have someone love me more than i love him in the beginning... keeps on screwing up things... never appreciate him and took him for granted... i gave him a hellish roller coaster ride... he couldnt feel my presense in him... as i was really unsure about him... i was confused...

Y am i feeling this way? Cause i already told myself that the next time i have a bf, i hope my next bf would be the one... I am going to make effort to make him the last bf i ever had... *but of course i cannot predict the future la, if it cannot work, then i guess he's not the one* I feel so unsure cause i never expect he would be my bf... or my future husband... and i was giving up hope on love that time... it was hard to suddenly to have the need to accept the fact im getting attach again this soon!

But after the roller coaster ride i have given him, i tell myself to stop being a bitch and start being fair to him... Therefore, till this day... i found myself loving him more n more each day... eventhough i can still love him way much more than this... but after what i've gone through in my past relationships, i find it hard to trust people anymore... i stll need to reserve alittle and pull back some... for in case anything happens... and for him to settle some shit... =__="

Being with him like this now... Im loving the moments with him... i feel so happy n relaxed... i dont have to pretend to me somebody im not... i dont have to pretend to be gentle and tender nor polite... cause he makes me feel comfortable showing him who i really am... and according to him, he also feel really comfortable with me around... he is the real him when im around... he dont have to be fake like he used to when he was with his ex... he can go as crazy and hyper all he wants and no one would scold him for acting hyper... and i would go crazy with him as well...

Compare to my craziness and his... of course his is wayyyyyyyyy crazier... sometimes his wackiness and craziness embarassed me okay!

Well, im glad our paths cross this way... at such a right timing i would say... will we go till the end? I dont know....

But wat im sure of is that... i love to see his bashful face when i say things that embarassed him or found out embarassing things about him... his bashful face is soooooo cute ok! *yes, i know... this is so random of me*

And as for him... he loves to see me getting annoyed... He likes to make me feel agitated and annoyed.. and he also likes to make me feel stupid... then he will really ROFL his ass off... he is damn blardy cheeky that way... in hokkien means... he really like to "titu" me ok...

But when he over do it and make me angry leh... he bring this fire to himself la... im not always that sporting k...

Aiya... have to abruptly stop this... cause going off... yes, i know this is too gay for u all to read... hahahhaaaa....

bubyeeee...

oh, i love you darling..... ahhahahahaaa.....

Random Posting...

Remember guys...

This Thursday....

2nd installment of the year for Hennessy Artistry!!!

At Zouk, KL.. 9pm onwards!

This Saturday, Standout Party by Tiger Beer with Nuffnang!!!

This Saturday also.... Hed Kandi in MOS, Sunway!

Happening week this week... =)

Last weekend, my parents came to KL...

I lived a lavish life...

Got to eat expensive food when my parents is around...

Spent most of our times shooting each other... havent feel like a close knit bond with them in a long time adi...

My mum bought me a Gucci lanyard... cause Gucci on sale... Oh... and designer brands on sale la!! All 30% off!! Gucci, Coach, Burberry... All sale!

My next wish list is to own a designer handbag.... MUM!!!! PLEASE... Can i??? =)

I actually had wanted to blog about different types of relationships in general... but.... i lost inspiration already.. cause im chatting with ppl in msn now while typing this.... =___=" lost the plot adi la....

So no mood to blog adi la... lost my inspiration adi ler....

be back next time... hahahaha....

Somebody's So Sweeettttttt......

Somebody has been so sweet to me...

Yeah, this entry is to hereby officially announce i have a bf!

No no no... not best friend... i already had a best friend since 13 years ago... and its still going stronger... ^__^

Its boyfriend that im referring to.... lol... (i wonder why is there a need for me to announce it huh? hahahahahaa)

When i read back my previous entries regarding my exes... and honest fact that time, i tot my exes was one of the sweetest i've known... but God still decide to be kind to me (eventhough after all the shit things i've done to messed up my previous relationships) and give me even sweeter, even nicer bf compared to my exes...

Sighh.... i love you God... thank you very much for being kind to me... (cause i tot i will get my karma for doing shit things in my previous relationships) Oh, maybe i already gotten my karma... Well, i dont know... i dont care... as long as im happy now...

Introducing my bf..... (nope, shall not post his pic up unless i get married to him and post our wedding pictures up...) my close friends already seen him... :D And i know, u guys must be wondering why it took me so long to officially announce it huh??? ahahhahaa.... well, i got my reasons...

Ok, back to introducing my bf....

He is someone who is sooooo sweet and thoughtful that its not even funny k...

He has done so many sweet things and thoughtful things to make my heart melt...

Best example i could think of for now is... usually when i finish work, i need to walk a distance and go tru a dark carpark space only can reach my car... regardless how busy he was, even he was having a meeting, he will insist i call him to talk to him on the phone until i reach my car for my safety purpose... every single day without fail... so sweet right... but i was thinking, what if something really happen to me, he cant help much isnt it?

And he really adores me so much and treats me like a princess... even though at times i dont really like to be spoilt cause i dont want to end up depending on him too much.... But now, he kinda made me dependent on him abit already.... =___="

He doesnt allow me to pay a single cent when im out with him... which i have literally stop arguing with him over this... so i dont want to even bother trying to pay anymore... But its only fair la... he makes more than me and his standard of living is lower than mine... ^_^

He plans for our future and adores me... yes, i know i have mentioned that he adores me... but well, he really adores me so much that i have to mention it again.... HAHAhahahaha..... *lame, i know*

Physical look, we r both not that compatible... he's the same height as me... but if i were to wear heels, i confirm be taller than him at least half a head... but what the heck... he loves me and adores me... so what the heck man... looks aint that important...

But we r both quite same and different in many ways... like... we both like to bite our finger nails... we both sleeps like a pig and can nvr wake up to the loudest alarm clock that rings... we r both fat... even though he's fatter... LOL... sorry darling...

he's very good at drawing and i seriously suck at drawing... He dont eat seafood and i love seafood... No one will fight with me when im looking for crabs roe to eat cause he doesnt like seafood... and i eat all i want... ahahhahaa....

He is chinese educated and im english educated... so, its good... i can have someone help me translate chinese and i go travelling in chinese countries without getting lost or tongue tied... his thinking is more traditional compared to mine, which is good i need someone to tone me down...

basically we complement each other right? ^___^

I like his crap and crazy talking ways... and he loves my bitchiness and he can handle my bitchiness... so why not? Not many people can stand and handle my bitchiness u know....

Its like, when i have my bitchy mode turned on as in simply screwing him and going crazy for no reason... he wont scold me or watsoever....but he will counter attack it with his actions and words that i will end up biting myself with it, tongue tied and lose the attack shamefully... and seriously cannot defend my own actions... =____=" and i freaking hates it when he does that... cause sometimes can really vomit blood wan k...

But its fine... i really do need someone who can control my bitchiness.... hahaahhaaa....

I even went for tarot card reading... (cause i have this tarot card lady who is very accurate)... and she told me that this guy is my soul mate... and we already known each other in our past life... but in our past life, we r best friends (he was a girl in his past life apparently)... and this life we r meant to be soulmates.... (it makes me wonder, if mel this life is my best friend, next time she will be my soul mate! HAHAHAHHAHAa....) So, a peace of mind there when my tarot card lady told me to go ahead... hehehee....

How do i get to know this sweet thing of mine?

Knew him almost 2 and half years ago through mel... when i first knew him, i was attached with someone else and he was attached with someone else.... and never in a million years that time i thought i will ever be with him today... lol! We became friends... only come out for supper or dinner with group of friends occassionally cause i was not always in Penang (oh, he's a Penang guy btw)... and we started to get closer early this year... and then... wheeeee.... the rest is a roller coaster ride... AHHAHAHAHAA.... and i really mean the roller coaster ride ok!

Cause being with him, everyday is different... his craziness and wackyness never fails to amuse me... maybe because we r still new la.... I bet prolly, after 2 years or so... each time he do stupid stuff, i will prolly whack him in the head and tame him like a monkey and tell him to behave adi.... HAhahahhahaa....

and oh... he is a blardy hell good kisser.... HAhahaha.... sorry darling, i just have to say it..... and yea yea, think furthur more than kissing, he is good in 'it' also ok! or else, i wouldnt be with him if he suck at it.... ahahahhaaa.... why the hell am i promoting my own bf huh??? I think his wacky attitude influenced me already.... Im getting wackier each day!

Well, i seriously do thank God for giving me someone like him cause i always thought my karma confirm bad wan.... or maybe my karma havent strike? Aiya, dont want to think much....

The down side is we r having long distance... im working in kl and he's in pg... but we see each other almost every weekend... but its good in some ways that i wont get bored with him so soon... (he said he definately wont be bored of seeing me everyday, its just me) hopefully this relationship of mine will workout la ya...

So guys... dont be surprise if i suddenly announce if im getting married.... HAhahahahaa.... im old already!

oh, i never have to worry if i mentions about the marriage thing... *cause usually guys freaks out when girls touch the topic of marriage* cause he talks about it more than i do... i believe he is even more eager to start a family than i do.... see, he so sweet......

like he said... "species like him, cannot find already la! where to find! only this one left.... *points to himself* Yes, he is so perasan at times...

But i love him.... and everything of him.....

he reads my blog btw (reads it ever since this blog created).... Hie darling... i love you... hope u dont mind me writing bout u! ^__^

I'm a Standout in Life

YEEEHARRRRR..... Nuffnang is organizing another party!!! Yay!! In collaboration with Tiger (which means loads of booze this time!!! LOL!), Nuffnang and Tiger is organizing a party with the theme called "Standouts"!

When i first read the theme... i was thinking.... wuahhh... this shouldnt be hard! Its time for boasting... I can boast and brag about myself shamelessly... LOL!!!

So, how standout am i in life?

I have a few standout moments in my life... but i will mainly concentrate my proudest moment of my life, doing things i love and have passion for and a standout among the crowd....

Yes, Im referring to my modelling life.... back in the year of 2001 till mid year 2004... i stopped modelling right before i go to Australia to furthur my studies and get a degree....

During my modelling time, i joined several fashion shows, hair shows, and beauty pageants...

Did fashion show for one of the fashion designing schools... on year 2002...


I especially love this dress...


Bridal show... year 2004


Taken on year 2004...


When i was joining some pageants in 2003...


See.... i look so damnnnn thin that time!!! Now, im freaking fat.... =__="


This was taken when i was in Miss Malaysia Universe National finals... year 2003.... *can you spot a familiar face in there?*


Me with a good friend of mine... who was Miss Malaysia Universe 1st runner up 2003... and because of this traditonal costume, i won best traditional costume among all the finalist in Miss Malaysia Universe 2003... ^__^

During my modelling and pageant life, i won several titles as well... i shall not elaborate much as its nothing of a big deal anyways... (later i turn emo cause i'll feel too old and too fat for all these already...)

My best achievement and the best time of my life during my pageants time is joining the Miss Malaysia Universe 2003! i have learnt alot of valuable experience from that pageant...





I actually have my face into local newspapers many times before... these below are just a few examples that i can dig out at such short notice (cause have to blog and brag about my standout moment ^__^)


*spot the familiar face again* *guess who am i referring to?*




*spot her face again... she is the winner of Miss Malaysia Universe 2003 and the host for Malaysian Dreamgirl* I think when i say the host for MDG, confirm u all know who adi right?

I have to unfortunately say that my modelling career/life ended on 2006... my last show was when i was in australia, joining Adelaide's supermodel competition, which of course i didnt win anything... ^__^

Since then i have gained weight tremendously and have turned so fat ever since... lol!


My Adelaide's Supermodel Competition.... on 2006... last catwalk i had ever did...

There are many times when i look back at my past photos about my modelling, i miss it so much... i miss those days man... i miss my then body... lol! Sometimes i do wish i get to do catwalk again... *all i have to freaking do is go super skinny again! but am so no discipline la!*

How did i manage to stay thin then? because my good metabolism rate and its because i know i will have constant fashion shows and catwalk to do, thats y i have discipline to not eat much and exercise regularly... now, since i dont have anymore shows to do... i eat like a goddamn monster ok!

I guess thats all for my standout moment...

People who knows me well or knows me close enough, they know im quite a standout as a person most of my life... i do things very differently from people... cause im always proud of myself and thank God that im gifted in my own way... =)

Now, i cant wait for the standout party... hmmmm.... wat shall i wear for that night????


*this is up for trying to win the Nintendo DS Lite!!!*

This time, the standout party, there is alot to win!!!

A HP Notebook, Nintendo DS Lite, XBox 360, a Coach Handbag and many many many many many more mystery prizes!!!

for more info regarding the party... please click here...

*********************************************************************************

#UPDATE#

Ren asked me to mention about my KK Trip which i climbed the damn Mount Kinabalu!! AHhahaaa... another thing to brag about myself....

Even though im such a softy and a princessy... and no one will ever every EVER thought i'll do this.... but... i managed to....


I climbed the Mount Kinabalu!!! =) *try not to focus on how ugly i look in this pic ok! i went through hell climbing the damn mountain ok!*

Since im on the state of bragging and to show what a standout i am...

Im also proud to say that im a sponsor for a child for world vision... read my story here...

OK OK OK... enough bragging about myself... tata....