Thursday, October 15, 2009

The thing about criticism...

I recently realised that im a critic.. im a big bad critic... not the good critic type... but bad type... i complain about this n that.. everything doesnt seem to be good enough for me... but of course when it comes to about food, im very particular about my food and im the type that spends money for good worthy food... Ok, back to everything doesnt seem to be good enough for me...

Well yeah... as i was saying, i complain about almost every single things as if im so perfect... i do not know why, how and when i turned like this... but my bf has made me realise that i criticize almost about everything...

When i first met my bf, i criticize that he's not good enough for me... as in not good looking enough, not tall enough, not smart looking enough... and all i concentrated was on his bad points... but after that, i realised his bad points were only physical looks and the inner him... i have basically nothing to complain...

and what i also didnt realised is that, when criticise about him alot... i didnt think of myself? the person i am... it took me 8 months until 2 days ago... to realise that i've been so selfish and been critizing him without thinking about myself... that he could withstand my bitchiness, my craziness, my mood swings which is very superbly crazy, my hot temper and my occasional screwing with his brains, mentally torturing him... and he did not criticise me about this... and he still love me to bits... and would still wants me to spend the rest of his life with him... And so you know, being with him for this past months, i have unleashed all my craziness towards him... So he has already seen the craziness in me that no one has ever seen but he could still bear with my stupid shits... Why didnt i think of this earlier???

My point is... i have heard alot of people, wanting to choose for their perfect partner... have their own criteria and requirements on what kind of person should be their perfect life partner and who deserve to be with them (this i think i would mostly point out to girls)... is a very stupid selfish thinking... being so picky and all towards the guy... but have u girls ever think those kind of guys would want you?

Yes, to be honest.. i used to be one of them (maybe i still am)... i used to want this this that that in my bf... as in like ridiculous criteria... but what i didnt think is... what have i got to offer to deserve that kind of man?

I am lazy ass woman who prefer not to clean my own house as i think hiring maids are the solution(even though i need to clarify that i know how to do housework k! im just freaking lazy to do it), i know how to cook but lazy.. prefer to eat out... im not the manja, sweet polite kind of woman that can serve my man well... im not those traditional type of woman that serve the man all the way... i have bad habits equally as bad as man... but i ridiculously used to think that i wan the perfect prince charming husband... u know the usual, super rich, good looking, love me to death, understanding, trustworthy and bla bla bla... Heck man, im not even trustworthy at all, should i dare to request for someone trustworthy? I have crazy bitchy attitude like a princess, so do u think a super rich ass millionaire's son would love someone like me?

My points is, if you have nothing to offer to your requirement type of guy, dont ever dare to look for guys that is not up to your par!

I always believe, God is very fair... there is a reason why this or that is happening to certain people at this certain time... how u meet your love ones and how they turn out to be isnt wat you always expected...

I have this girl friend of mine... she doesnt come from a rich back ground.. but she is pretty, quite intelligent, can do house work, can cook, very elegant type.. and she found her the other half super rich ass millionaire/billionaire and loves her alot... I envy her alot... i really do.. cause she is able to get such bf/husband (and they are getting married next year)... but i cannot envy much or ask myself why i couldnt get this kind of man... cause i have nothing to offer to have such man...

But to be honest, im very happy for what i have today... as in my bf... this is not to please him or watsoever... but its the truth... i think God has been very nice to me... I have done so many shitty stuff and screw up all my past relationships which i think i dont derserve him at all... but God still gives me someone like him... even though his physical looks aint good but overall he is much better as a person compare to me... Yes, he may be freakily obssesive, his paranoia and controls me too much on some occassion and the level of his trust towards me, is like basically almost zero, but he really does loves me and plan for our future thoroughly... I understands why is he is so possesive towards me, why is he so paranoid that im gonna cheat on him, why he controls me too much and why he doesnt trust me... Its all bcos he is afraid to lose me... He is so possesive and doesnt trust me at all is because of my own doings... about my past which was never proud to be mentioned of... I have been trying my best to assure him and make him trust me more n more... so far, it still seems difficult... but i guess time till will tell... What the heck la, even i myself dont really trust him... but im very sure that i have more trust in him than he has on me....

Thats the saying of "Do Unto Others as You Would have Others Do Unto You" is really true... If im obsesive, I have to expect my the other half is obsessive as well... If i dont trust my the other half, I have to expect my the other half dont trust me as well... If im crazy and bitchy with crazy temper, i would have to expect my the other half have the crazy temper as well... Thats y they are called 'the other half'... we share everything together... we influence each other... we make each other crazy... and we pick up each other's habits and thinking along the way...

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Knock You Down By Keri Hilson feat Neyo & Kanye West

Favourite Song of the Moment....

Cause it reminds me of me and my love.... *-)


[Keri Hilson:]
Not again
Oh this ain't supposed to happen to me

[Kanye West:]
Keep rockin and keep knockin'
Whether you're Louie Vuittonin' it up, or Reebokin'
You see the hate that they serving on a plater
So what we gon have dessert or disaster?

[Keri Hilson:]
I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in and knocked me on my face
Feels like I'm in a race but I already won first place

I never thought I fall for you as hard as I did (as hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinking about our life, our house and kids (Yeah)
Every morning I look at you and smile
Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down (knocked me down)

[Chorus:]
Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

[Ne-Yo:]
I never thought I hear myself say
Ya'll gon hate
I think I'm going to kick it with my girl today
I used to be commander-in-chief for my pimp ship flying high
Till I met this pretty little missile, who shot me out the sky

So now I'm crashing don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could go back and make it happen faster
Don't you know i would baby if I could
Miss independent, to the fullest, the load never too much
She helping me pull it, she shot bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
[ Keri Hilson Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

[Kanye West:]
Tell me now can you make past your caspers
So we could finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams
To seem to only date the head of football teams,
And I was the class clown that always kept you laughing
We were never meant to be, baby we just happened
So please don't mess up the trick,
Hey young world, I'm the new slick rick,
They say I move to quick but we can't let this moment past us,
Let the hour glass pass right into ashes
Let the wind blow the ashes right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
how could a goddess ask someone that's only average, for advice
O-M-G you listen to that bitch?
Woah is me, baby this is tragic
Cause we had it, we was magic
I was flying, now I'm crashing
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I'm mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I'ma ask him

[Keri Hilson:]
So you gotta take the good with the bad, the happy and the sad
Or will you bring the better future then I had in the past
Cause I don't want to make the same mistakes i did
I don't wanna fall back on my face again
Woah, woah
I'll admit it, I was scared to answer loves call
Woah, woah
And if it hits, better make it worth the fall

(When it comes around)

Sometimes love comes around (love comes around, love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around (comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down (knocks you down)

Won’t see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love comes knocks you down

Won’t see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you’re gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down

Yea yea... i know... i've been neglecting my blog.... will blog about something really soon k.... hehehehee.....